I Can't, but He Can

Tomorrow my mother will be meeting with her doctor to discuss her treatment options, and though I'd love to be with her during this question and answer session, I can't.
It hurts to even type that. I can't.

While it's life that is keeping me away, I still feel as if I'm letting her down. My husband is going out of town for the week, and tomorrow I have a school conference with my oldest son's teacher, so it's not like I'm just opting to miss the appointment.

So, what's with the guilt? Or is it not guilt at all, that I'm feeling? Perhaps it started as such, but I think all of my fears are trying to be heard. Seems they saw and took the emotional opening that my momentary guilt created.

I want to cry. I want to scream so loudly that this can't happen to my mom. I want someone to tell me that there has been some huge mix up and my mother won't really have to brave this battle without her daughters there to support her when the need becomes daily. I want to believe that my youngest sister isn't too broken to be a true support to my mother, since she lives nearest. I want to fall asleep and wake up having dreamed it all. The reality is just to hard to look at. She can't really have to walk this alone. Can she?

Then my Christianity takes the reins.
She is not alone in this, she need only give it over to Him and her burden will be shared.
No matter how far away I live, no matter how many appointments I can or cannot make, no matter how much I may want to, sharing her load is one thing that God, alone, can do for her.

I can't, but He can.

Please pray for my mom's salvation.